[on Twitter] If you tell me "I don't have a musical bone in my body", I HAVE to reply "Well, let's pop in the bathroom & I'll take care of that for ya". Show less «

[Twitter reply to the question "What is the best prank you've pulled on your brothers?"] They think their "daughters" are actually theirs. Show less «

[on Twitter] About to go walking around Soho. If you find me, wave. I'll look down really quickly and walk the other way. It will make your day. Show less «

I had no idea what I wanted to be, but I knew that I kinda wanted to be rich. That was my main goal, really. So I came up with all these different things. When I was really young I wanted to be an anesthesiologist... I don't know. I was kind of a dork. I was a really smart kid, and like was on Honor Roll and made straight A's, and was in all the honor classes, and stuff like that. And I had glasses and wanted to be an anesthesiologist because I got my appendix taken out when I was like nine. The guys who gave me the medicine - I remember as I was passing out - they were talking about the Sooners - because we were in Oklahoma - they were talking about the college football team that we support. I remember trying to talk to them and I just passed out. I remember thinking, "Man, this guy has the easiest job." And so I asked one of the nurses, "Do those guys get paid a lot?" And she was like, "Yeah definitely." So I was like, "Awesome, man. I want to do that." Just like put a mask on my face - not to mention how much they huff themselves. Show less «

[on Twitter] Live every day as if it's your last=bullshit. I would eat only ice cream and pizza, probably try heroin and most likely rob banks. Show less «

[on Twitter] I'm not scared to get a tattoo. If I did, it would be hidden though. Classy and discreet. Like on my butthole or something. Show less «

[commenting a picture of himself as a toddler smiling and clapping his hands] Mom told me she was going out to get more vodka! Show less «